concentrate

oh friable mind,
please play your role.
i have been amiss,
please join me in this stroll.
i need you now,
more than ever.
as one whole,
no thought to waver.

can i

take this

bombard

ment

of tasks and responsibilities? Am i fit for the

job? Should

I make it fit

? Life is not

easy, but n-

either is dea

th. so choose.

live........mati

live........mati

live........mati

live........mati

live........mati

not literally la but. do what you can. don't die to the occasion.

:)

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

by Charlie Chaplin

film.

they tell tales. great ones sometimes. and i just watched one. 'The Dark Knight' was awesome. i never knew it could get as complicated and deep as it was. Those who have not watched it, GO!

I on the other hand have matters to attend to...one of them being helping out with IMU M208's orientation video. 1st draft is set. the 2nd one awaits. The idea of the video seems interesting to me, but, will it be for the audience? haha. tengokla(we'll see).

Salam.

a prayer.

the ocean is my witness.
to the sand on my shore.
& to the boulders on my beach.

countless! My Lord, they are countless!
But Your mercy is infinite!
Grant me a share of it.

I beg of You.

i've been having dreams again.

I guess my mind has not been resting well this past few days.
My body too.
But the dreams i had were very interesting that i don't mind the weak feeling when i wake up.
Tomorrow, my friends and i will be at the Kuching Waterfront Xpose to inform the masses of the art of movement. hehe.
Hopefully things go well.

Body today weak, hopefully better tomorrow.

Lets entertain KUCHING!

friends.

life long.
or
bonds just formed.

we are almost each other.
values. thoughts. goals. & a whole lot more.

we teach each other.
our screw-ups, our successes. lessons put forth yearning to be learned.
i know i need too.

half a holiday spent,
half more to go.
As said, 'If not now, when?'
another lesson for me.

Loved ones, parkour, trick, break, chill, school-work, house-work, ...oh God, make this easy for me to do.

apa apa pun,
sayang sama lu semua.

page 172.

Rumi, a poet, once said,

don't try to repent
every time i try
my vow just gets broken
my drunk soul
doesn't want to repent again
I vowed a hundred times
a thousand times
not to do this or that
repentance just got tired of me

How does it feel to know that you've passed your exam.

Thankful.
And now that holiday's have started, many things and activities fill my eager mind.
2 months. I HAVE TO fill it with Happyness, for my keluarga, for my kengkawans, for the moment.

God. Guide me. Teach me. Punish me.
InsyaAllah, i shall walk in your land, and i pray to You that I be cleansed. And the others too.


I got a haircut. Heh. And, often do I forget that it was not thick as before. My hand would reach for it, only to feel lost as it searches lower to discover a firm carpet-like texture.

Days remain still as it has been like the old days.
Can't dwindle there too much though.

:D Whatever it is, please pray for the successful completion of our journey of Umrah.

Salam.

people.

around me,
i see people and their progression.
i am always in awe.
always,
of how they move forward,
improving each step of the way.

they walk their paths,
as though with calculated thought,
maybe thinking of BIG projects,
or something simple like
what to eat for lunch or dinner.

i congratulate you and your forward flow.

a plant of four seasons.

Like a plant of four seasons,
that grows and sheds
in accordance to the environment,
it is now winter for me,
where everything seems to fall apart.

Yes i sound dramatic,
but everyone feels this, don't they?

Summer was pleasant,
with its rays of smiles,
and its breeze of joy.

Autumn was a transition, slowly introducing to the chills of winter.
Hopefully, spring will be an enlightenment,
that brings us back to summer's warmth.

but, every season has its good moments.
I'll find them.

EOS.

end of semester exams.

4 weeks.

i am not ready.

hope i'll be ready.

i must be.

Sakit Perut~ hehe.

perut ku mengeluh mengadu pedih.
'sikpa. kaktok kamek beli kitak waffle k. kejap ah. kejap'
perut ku mula menitiskan air mata.
'ayi, iboh nangis. kamek polah benda tok skejap. kejap ah'
perut ku senyap.
lekas aku angkat dan tinggalkan tugas.
Ku tulis,'Honey Cheese Waffle. Soft. not crispy.'

I don't know why, but i like this picture. I hope you like it too.

Exam is in less than 5 weeks.

All the best to all.

Salam study.

:(

i am human.

& humans screw up.

screw ups happen.

& they happen to teach.

to teach the wrongs so we do not repeat them.

not only ourselves, but to teach those who are close.

broken malay. hehe.

sebatang kayu ku pikul di bahu.
di dua hujung kayu ada bakulnya tergantung.
setiap dentuman kaki ku berjalan,
semakin bertambah isi yang dimasukkan.

:|

i can't find a word to say.
the more i think,
the more my insides echo with my heart beat.
I can't hear a word. There are no words.
& it is this that causes the dark rainclouds to pour its load.

Hills.

my 'aneh' words and sentences will hide and find shelter in the hills.

Salam.

: l

This is how a bedroom should not look like. I cleaned up the mess and it remained clean for a week. But, when school started, the mess started re-essembling itself.

Heh.

after monday is tuesday. after tuesday is wednesday.

2 days to go, and a semester of notes to read through. haha.

so, students, what have we learned today?
prepare earlier~!

Summative 2 exams.

i will be tested on what was supposedly learned in Foundation 2.
13 days to go.
:P

2 birds resting side by side

Sri Petaling LRT station, on a Friday afternoon. Heading to the mosque in Sungai Besi for Friday prayers.

An ordinary LRT station can look beautiful in its own way, don't you think?

one task finished,
another one awaits.

after that is done,
another will come.

i guess it must be the continuity of struggles that gives life to life.
best nak bila dah siap kerja?

masa depan takkan pernah pasti,
kecuali keakhiran dunia.

tapi.
menunggu kepastian.
mengejar kepastian.
2 perkara yang sangat berbeza.
satu dengan usaha.
satu tiada.

salahnya apa yang aku fikirkan hari itu.

cloudy tears

oh God,
i ask from you the heaviest of rain,
for me to sleep under tonite.

"_________?"

put me through a struggle
and make me suffer,
only then you would see
if i'd die or live.

i do not own anyone,
and that includes you dear.
your life is your own,
and it is you who lives it dear.
the choice is yours to be made,
and insignificant am i in making it dear.

then i asked myself, "___________?"
i answered, "___________________________."

excerpt from the 7th discourse from Futuh Al-Ghaib.

....Thus he was trained to practice praying for forgiveness, because that is the best state for a servant, and constant repentance, because this involves acknowledgment of sin and shortcoming–properties of human nature inherited from Adam (peace be upon him), the father of mankind.

...."Our Lord! We have wronged ourselves. If You do not forgive us, and have mercy on us, we shall surely be among the lost!" (7:23).

Sabree: our clothes were white and pure, glistening under the light of the sun. But now there are stains.

we all are stained.

but with time, surely the dirt and grim would fade off, as long as we don't roll around in the dirt anymore.

the pak guards that work for my immune system.

they take care of me.
they halt and destroy those that infiltrate my fort.
anything that does not belong to me,
they would recognise and start the inevitable destruction of these intruders.

they are strong. but most importantly, they respond fast.

but, if they fall sick and they are weakened,
their response become slow.
it is like playing tag with the slowest people being 'it'.
you can just out run them while they try and catch you.

Intruders run wild
and cause much damage.

i would be in trouble.

what i got from this was, being strong is not really the big deal, it is about being fast and being efficient while doing anything.

i am slow in some aspects, trusting the saying, 'slow and steady wins the race'. i guess, speeding up won't hurt.

oh my Lord,
i feel like a child,
doing the wrongs and doing the right.
anxious and frantic is my heart,
without understanding it, i decide.

Some moments one get so blur, and imagination flies out infinitely to space, without a thought in mind, how can i progress?

with my blank stares, i feel like an autistic child, my focus always spilling over the rim, how can i progress?

people complain of a mind full of thoughts,
can i complain of a mind eager for concentrated thought?

sit down. bit by bit. you will manage my friend.

&

76779.

to all.

for my troubles.

for your worries.

i enjoyed my stay.

but forgive my inadequacy.

lewat sudha ni. jam 6.03 pagi. saya tau ada dikalangan kamu sudha sedar. subuh kan? sudha?

mentari tidak lama lagi terbit tuh. mesti cantik kan kalau tengok?

sejuk sedap kalau duduk kat luar. mari. ada melodi merdu burungan yang awal. jum dengar.

kabus menipis. hangat terasa. akhiran pagi. masuk kembali. jum sedia sarapan.

tamat.

your string

o dear blue balloon,
let me hang on to your string,
take me with you.
ignore the words of navigators
and let the breeze do what navigators do.
o dear blue balloon,
i may brush a tree top or two
or get cuts and bruises from the things i bump into,
but i will not let go of you.
nothing is this pain
compared to the wonders we have yet to discover.
i trust you blue balloon.
take me with you.
let me hang on to your string.
i will not let go.

dengungggggggggg~

a million crickets are singing their lyrics inside my ears.
im serious.
it is like white noise, but amplified by a hundred.
and the weakest sounds seem so grand,
like a drop of water into a basin,
or the ambient sounds of a lecture hall just after lecture ends.
This is not a plea for sympathy of pain and annoyance,
but its something interesting to go through.
like listening to the sounds of crumpling paper from across the hall, of a pen dropping onto a table.
Ah, the wonders of a sensitized ear.
I heard a hum, and i looked around for where it came from. i smiled when i realised where she was.
Ah, the wonders of a sensitized ear.
She's humming again, and it is so clear and crisp.
:)

mind is flying somewhere.

foggy decisions.

empty thoughts.

worrisome deals.

as though trying a new flip.

the pressure for knowledge.

a capped pen.

a broken pencil.

a stained shirt.

rustling leaves.

strange stares.

happy smiles.

some burning cable.

sakit.